The Homeless

One of my elementary friends asked for help with a project for school through a post on FB. The Subject was or were the homeless and she asked questions like how to we feel about them? why to we think they are homeless to begin with? etc. But one question stood out to me in particlar:

What makes a house a home?

and I was shocked at some of the answers, some were materialist others were really good answers...and others?..well they were what I call deep, or meaningful. And of course I began to think what is "home" for me...and then I began to wonder what is a home for a child?

As a mother, and as all mothers...we make a house a home...I make sure David is showered in love, patience, hugs, and cuddles. Mistakes are ok, we learn from them. Little hearts mean more to me than making sure a room and everything is perfect all the time- it isn't a sign of child being there if there isn't a mess somewhere sometime.

If something gets broken- it's ok....it means more that their heart is one piece.

If someone wants all my attention - it's a joy because some day they won't.

If someone wants to held- I rejoice, because some day I won't be able to hold them.

If someone is being bad- it is the greatest opportunity, not to get mad because they're not acting "right" but a chance to teach them and explain how we should act and tell them the kind of way we should talk to each other.

Sometimes, we should learn that saying, "Let's say this instead" OR "Let's play with this instead", OR "Let's not do that"...is far better than saying a million "NO's" all day long. And realizing a gentle, patient, kind mama that teaches and loves...is always better than a threatening, harsh disciplinarian that breaks the very spirit of their kids...

Don't just live life and let each day pass by...make your house, room , apartment...a home. A home is any place you fill with love, care and a little cozy all around.

So as you can see....for a child, I really doubt a one or two story building, nicely decorated, house is really a home...what makes your house, your HOME?

Missing David

(This song means a lot to me, if you listen closely to the lyrics you will see why the title is Hourglass by Mindy Gledhill)

It's been a little over a week since David has been gone...

I'M REALLY MISSING HIM

I swear I have been in his room so many times just to "arrange" something..it could not be cleaner or more arranged. I think i miss him more this time around than when he first left. I really miss him. The house had been so quiet and boring. Even Leroy says so.

I treasure all our little moments together. If your little ones are still small...treasure every moment of being their hero, their favorite person to show tricks to, read to, dance for, and make happy....
They live to make you smile...they thrive off you telling them how amazing, great, beautiful, talented and strong they are...

An "I love you", wraps them in the love they need to make it in this world.
An "it's ok, we can clean that up" after a mess or accident, gives them the confidence to know a mistake isn't the end of the world...

You can never get time back...
I can never get that little baby back...you will never get each day that slips away back...
Take the hands of your little one, shower them in love, shower them in praise, walk along side them down the paths of their dreams...
play, make believe, imagine, dance, sing...hug and cuddle, don't be in a hurry...
if you hurry up all the time....
you'll hurry into the future and miss out on all these precious moments that you'll never get back...
let the laundry pile up and dance one more dance with your baby in your arms...
you'll always have laundry...but not that baby to hold in your arms...

I am so thankful that my kid knows that I love him, he knows I talk kindly to him, that I won't ever cuss at him, or tease him...that I will always protect his little heart and emotions, I'll always encourage him, he can always trust what I say. He knows he can believe me and they know I will always be understanding and show him God's love...that is forgiving, encouraging, never harsh or cruel, and unconditional.

I am so thankful I had my mom to show me how to be a good, kind, loving mama, that nurtures not just little hearts, but their little dreams, confidence...and always filling them with positivity and love.

If your mom isn't with you anymore or the relationship with your mom isn't very good...please feel the love I'm sending you from my mama heart...don't let anyone tell you you are anything less than amazing and so worthy of love...Love from this mama to you, Nuria



Gone for a while...

Well the day has come to part ways with my little love. Although only for a while I feel as if it's going to be for ever. I feel so emotional. I want to say I feel I'm being a drama queen. He's been away from me longer but I feel like it hurts more than than when he was gone the first time...if that makes any sense.

David is super happy to be with my family and I hate to admit that part of me is scared that he's going to love it a little too much to come back to OUR little world. It's a feeling very hard to explain. It's not jealousy just fear.

Until the day it's time to return its back to being lonely...

On the toughest days

...I always think it's so funny when people think that I have this perfect life...my life is so far from perfect it hurts some days. I can't talk about all the things that are hurting my heart that I deal with every day, but so much pain is in my heart SOME days.From difficult things in my life,....to moments where some depressing thoughts try to creep in.

Life is full of hurdles of difficulty...

we will never have a life free of problems and hurt.

But we can grow wisdom to deal with the problems...

and grow more grace, mercy, and larger hearts to deal with the pain.

You've probably heard the saying:

"you can grow bitter or you can grow better"...

Well, some of the most incredible people I've ever known are the ones who have been through the toughest things. They didn't let life hard or painful things make them bitter...it actually made them better, develop more character and strength.

I couldn't get through anything without having God in my life...I asked the Lord to come into my heart not too many yrs ago...and he has been there to lift me up when I was down...when life gets to be too much...I’d lie if I said Im an a very religious person, I don’t go to chuch every Sunday, nor do I read the bible…But I do believe. I just want everyone to know that asks me, "how are you so happy?"...to know the answer. My life is not perfect, and it's not my life that makes me happy...it's God.

 If you are feeling alone, depressed, sad, hopeless, frustrated, hurt, that no one understands you, no one knows the hurt in your heart.... Reach out to him because only he is the one who can take all that away.

Love always, Nuria.

Poop-versations

While Leroy is busy being police it's just me and my David...and I love all the conversations we have all day long....
He melts my heart with almost everything that comes out of his mouth....
My favorite was when he asked me to come talk to him while he "pooped"...
to which I said, of course...well not really deep down inside I was like wait. What?

I’ve changed diapers filled with poop, what's a little talking in the bathroom while someone poops!? Right? (this is only cute when they are little, by the way! ha ha ha)

So there I sat in the bathroom...

"well, what do you want to talk about?"...David started to ask what the plans were for today…
to which I replied: we have to go to target and get a few things.
Then I asked him, "what's on your mind?’
to which he replied:
"ice cream!"
Me: “well maybe we can get some ice cream on our way there"

Our conversation continued until he was done doing his business...

One day when he is grown up, I will miss little moments like this...even if they do take place while "sitting on the throne".

Cherish every moment, every smile, every conversation. Try to never say, "I'm too busy"....because we should never be too busy for what a little heart wants to share with us! No matter how tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, over-worked you feel...
know that those little hands won't always be little and fit in your hand...
they won't look up to you and think that you are the one who can make everything better..

The Q's & A's of a child...

As a single parent, one of the things we fear the most are questions from our kids. Now, later, then, when…

It’s what hits all of us the deepest and our haters use them against us due to ignorance and lack of understanding. The worst one being, “think about your child!”

Fears of being questioned by our own kids, such as “mami, why are you and papi not together?” are also a huge driving force keeping many of us in unhappy marriages. Which, in my opinion, are worse for children than being in single parent households with one happy, fully functioning single parent.

In my house, the questions have come and many more will, I’m sure, and I have to make an attempt to make sense of my actions in a 4 year old’s level of comprehension. Now let’s not be ignorant here, we have to admit our kids know AND understand more than we think they do.

I have always talked to David, whether its him asking or me wanting to know how he feels about our situation. I have come to learn that communication is key and it shouldn’t matter if you’re “boss, in the driver’s seat, captain, or the adult” one should always take in consideration the feelings of the “employee, passenger, commander or the child”.

David will be leaving soon to visit my family in California then from there they will be taking off to El Salvador. I have been asked why am I not going and many other things.

My David understands I am not with his father and I am with someone else but from the jist of it has questions a to why his father isn't near him and it's perfectly understandable..I mean wouldn't you like to know why your father isn't near you? Im going to refrain from stepping in for him and continue to let David wonder until he asks himself. I am sure David will have even more questions to ask when he returns...

Until then let's always try to talk to our kids and hear them out, no matter what the age....Love Nuria

Sleeping like a baby

Sometimes I just want to sit and take in all the beauty and preciousness of my sleeping lil one...
I know he is growing up and I just really want to stare at him and enjoy every moment of being able to look at his precious little baby face, so peacefully sleeping. It's like looking at a sunset, that makes you not want to take your eyes off of it, because you know it will be changing

There is nothing like the loving arms of a mama.

And there is nothing like holding your child, knowing they are safe from the harms of the world, safe from feeling alone, safely resting in the most comfortable place in the world. I hope that when you go to sleep tonight, that you sleep like a baby....and your dreams are filled with peace and comfort like that of being safe in mama's arms....

Huge mama hugs, Nuria